To Rest is an Act of Rebellion
Tags: Angst
Published: 04/03/2022
Word Count: 1112
Summary
Three stared at the decidedly comfortable looking chair in the centre of its room and tried to swallow the panic that was rising at the thought of sitting in it.
Notes: Huge thank you to Avg for beta reading ♥
The chair sat innocuously in the centre of the room. It was a single sofa chair, the fabric was light blue, the padding and cushions were thick, it looked very clean and new.
Three didn't know what to do with it. It was alone in the room Perihelion 's crew had assigned to it for the remainder of the journey to Preservation, the only one that could see it was Perihelion itself. It would be another 8 cycles before they arrived.
There was no protocol for this. Actually there was, but the issue was that sitting was against protocol. That didn't make anything easier.
Humans sat all the time, for meal periods or recreation or just because they wanted to. Murderbot 1.0 took sitting to a new level, often curling up or sprawling across the seat in a way it did not appear to be designed for.
The mere concept had made a lump form in Three's throat, and something in its abdomen start churning.
Three had never sat before. Sitting was not allowed, ever. Three had seen what happened when SecUnit 2 had tried, once. It never tried again, none of them did. SecUnits 1 and 2... It wondered what they would have done, had they been freed too. How would they have dealt with this situation? It was pointless to think about, and it just made the gap where their feed connection should have been ache.
What 1 or 2 would have done was irrelevant. It did not know, and would never know. Three itself was no longer bound by what the Governor Module deemed acceptable, it could make those judgements for itself. It had to.
Three stared at the decidedly comfortable looking chair in the centre of its room and tried to swallow the panic that was rising at the thought of sitting in it.
No one was here, no one was watching. Perihelion was always here and always watching, but Perihelion did not count. If Three wanted to try and push, expand the boundaries of what was allowed, try and determine for itself what to do, then this was the opportunity to do so.
Sitting was simple, easy, effortless. It was in itself an act of resting. Perhaps that was why SecUnits are not allowed to sit, because they are not allowed to rest. They are security, always vigilant unless there has been catastrophic damage. Or unless they were being shipped in a cubicle.
Technically, one could and did sit when in a cubicle.
It ran a hand over its head, feeling the short hairs beneath its fingers, grounding itself with the sensation.
A private room was a tiny bit like a cubicle, a smallish space where it was alone, a space that was its. Perhaps the same protocol applied, then.
It should not need protocol in order to justify to itself an act of resting that was also an act of self determination and rebellion but it did. It wished that it didn't.
It needed to do this, before the next time a human casually invited it to do so and it again turned and walked away hastily without saying a word. It could do that now, just turn and walk away. That was easier than explaining itself, although it was certainly rude and it would need to apologise when it saw Turi again.
It was also easier than actually placing its ass on that chair.
It took a step closer. Nothing happened. Nothing was going to happen, it didn't expect anything to happen.
It surged forward and placed itself on the seat of the chair before it could second guess itself yet again.
It stood back up immediately, phantom shocks ripping through it although nothing was actually happening, and it didn't hurt because how could it, but oh it did anyway. Nothing was happening, nothing, the shock wasn't real, it was just Three’s own mind expecting pain. It checked that its Governor Module was still there, disconnected and inactive.
This was exceptionally frustrating. It placed a hand on the arm of the chair. Waited. The fabric was soft and smooth, giving just a bit of resistance as it ran its hand along it.
It turned and sat on the arm of the chair. This was certainly against protocol too, but somehow it was easier. Three didn't know why. But it wasn't going to be beaten by a chair . It could do this properly, it would . It stood, glared at the seat of the chair, lowered itself carefully onto it.
It waited.
It relaxed.
It leaned back against the back of the chair, sprawling itself across it like it had seen 1.0 do. That was fairly comfortable, but it also felt awkward. It sat up again.
It was doing it, it was sitting, and nothing was happening, it was fine, this was completely against protocol. Maybe Three could make its own protocol.
It stood up. It wasn't fine. It was terrifying, and the thought that a human would walk in and see it sent a wave of panic down its spine.
Perihelion had said nothing. Perhaps it wouldn't, and it would just silently watch. Perhaps it wasn't watching at all. That was unlikely, Perihelion was very nosy.
This space was too large, too bright, it was nothing like a cubicle. That should be a good thing. At the moment the unfamiliarity was just discomforting.
Perihelion was quite intimidating in its own right, but there was no doubt that anything within its bounds would be both cared for and protected to the best of its ability. Three was slightly envious of that. But, it could get there, in its own time. Figure out how to best protect without being restrained by a GovMod, or relying on a HubSys that made poor decisions more often than not, and it could find humans that it wanted to protect.
But first, it had to conquer this stupid chair.
It braced itself again. This was fine. No one was watching. There would be no shock. No one expected anything from it.
It thumped down into the seat. It was uncomfortable. The chair itself was soft, the padding and fabric creating a sensation that would be very nice to touch and to feel. It would be wonderful, if the concept of sitting stopped making it sweat from tension.
It straightened its back.
There was no way to sit that was within protocol, the mere act was so far against protocol. So far outside of what it was allowed to do.
But no one told it what it was allowed any more. It got to decide that. No one else. No one.